Football: The teams I follow and why

Today marks the start of the football season over here in the UK with the beginning of the Championship this past weekend and the annual Community Shield curtain raiser on earlier today. I thought I would knock up a little blog on the teams I support and follow and why I follow them.

English Premier League

Liverpool

Liverpool are my team, they have been my team for as long as I can remember in the days when the likes of Robbie Fowler and Steve McManaman were considered ‘young guns’. I have seen them play a few times at both Anfield and Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium for the 2006 FA Cup final. My abiding memory for Liverpool is THAT COMEBACK in the 2005 Champions League Final against AC Milan in the Ataturk Stadium, Istanbul.  

Yes, Manchester United’s comeback in the dying minutes against Bayern Munich was impressive and a memorable football moment but Liverpool’s comeback was more impressive. Considering they were 3-0 down at half time and nobody envisaged them getting anything from the game. It was 15 minutes of pure magic and inspiration. Never in my life will I see a comeback like that again. That moment cemented my love for The Reds. It also finally gave me bragging rights in the school yard for an entire year!

Honourable mention: Swansea City. Being Welsh I have to have a spot for the Swans in their return to the top flight. I’m expecting them to go right back down but hey, it’s football – anything can happen and it usually does.

La Liga

FC Barcelona

Again this is a team I have had an allegiance to almost all my life, one of my first ever football shirts was a Barcelona home top, about five sizes too big at the time but it is one I have kept and will forever cherish. I love everything about the club, the mantra ‘more than a football club’, the style of football that they play, the characters in the team and the fans. It is a fantastic place to watch a match in the cauldron that is the Nou Camp. I have been lucky enough to see an El Clasico and it is a memory I will hold forever. A spectacle that every football fan should experience once in their life.

Serie A

Juventus

I have always liked Juventus as a club mainly because when I first took an interest in football they had Edgar Davids in the team who woe special glasses and I always thougjt he was cool lol. They have a rich history in soccer with numerous scudetto’s (Serie A titles) and European achievements.

Palermo

I mainly follow these because of a computer game called Football Manager, I used to always sign a player who played for them called Andrea Gasbarroni, he was a decent winger and would play nicely for my Liverpool squad. So since then I have always kept an eye out for their results. 

Outside of those teams I only like a few from Brazil and Argentina. I like Santos and Cruzeiro from Brazil and Boca Juniors from Argentina. If it is on I may watch other leagues and games but mainly from a neutral viewpoint. I just enjoy a good game played by world class athletes. I can appreciate good football even if it’s at the expense of my favourite teams. Football isn’t called ‘The Beautiful Game’ for nothing.

WWE Money In The Bank 2011

Last night was the latest WWE PPV: Money In The Bank. I was very much looking forward to the event thanks to the interest generated by the CM Punk/John Cena feud. That match alone made me stay up to watch the PPV on sky sports. As the name suggested the event was to feature two Money In The Bank (MITB) matches, one for Raw and the other Smackdown. The other matches on the card included a Divas championship match, a match between the Bigshow and Mark Henry and a World Heavyweight Championship match between Randy Orton and Christian.

Winners are in italics.

1. Smackdown's Money in the Bank match featuring Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, Kane, Sheamus, Sin Cara and Wade Barrett

What a match to kick off the PPV, it started off at a frenetic pace with all the high flyers hitting spots off the top rope. Sheamus powerbomed Sin Cara onto a ladder which looked absolutely brutal - that ended Sin Cara's night and will likely see him out 'injured' for the next month as a cover for him failing a wellness policy.

The match featured some more big spots like Sheamus hoisting Bryan onto his shoulders and Kane hitting a clothesline for a Doomsday Device. Justin Gabriel hit an awesome 450 splash from a ladder nestling on the top rope. After some more action on the ladders, Kane chokeslammed Sheamus onto a ladder which was a sick looking spot, wrestling is fake but they do really take some bumps.

Daniel Bryan won the match after battling with Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett on the ladder, knocking Rhodes off and hitting Barrett with a kick to the head. I didn't expect Bryan to win, it was an excellent start to the PPV and had everything you could wish for in a ladder match, the surprise winner was the icing on the cake.

2. Kelly Kelly (with Eve Torres) vs Brie Bella (with Nikki Bella) for the WWE Divas Championship

I didn't really watch this match attentively, to me divas matches are throwaway, they are usually dire and reserved for a piss or refreshment break. The standard in the women’s division is terrible. Kelly Kelly hit her finisher to retain her WWE Divas Championship.

3. Mark Henry vs The Bigshow

I was expecting this match to be a short affair and in all honesty not even start. I was anticipating Henry putting a beat down on Show before he had chance to get in the ring. The match was decent for two big men, the best of the action occurred outside the ring where Henry knobbled Show using a dropkick on the ring steps sending them into Show's knee. He worked on the knee in the ring putting Show into a single leg crab. After the break of the hold Show had some offence until Henry countered a chokeslam and hit a World's Strongest Slam for a two count. He hit another and finished off Show with two splashes.

After the match Henry got a chair from ringside and placed Shows foot in it. Henry then performed a splash from the second rope and hit in on the chair. Show sold an injured foot as if it was broken. A good finish to the match which puts Henry over a monster heel. I would like them to keep him going and make him a credible monster destroying everything and everyone in his path, it is a shame he has been under-used thus far.

4. Raw's Money In The Bank match featuring Alberto Del Rio, Alex Riley, Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, The Miz and Rey Mysterio

To start the match off all the entrants grabbed a latter and went for Del Rio, after he hit the outside of the ring they all threw their ladders onto him, an throwaway comedic start to the match. Like the first match the start of this one way a bit of a spot-fest with both Rey and Kofi hitting moves on guys from the corner and Evan Bourne hitting an Airbourne onto everyone. Miz and Bourne were on a ladder which Del Rio toppled sending Bourne and eventually Miz to the canvas. It did look one hell of a bump for the Miz who sold a knee injury and got helped away by the trainers at ringside, that was the end of his night or was it???

Soon everyone was in the ring on ladders and one by one battled and toppled and low and behold who hobbles down the ramp but The Miz, I did think that it was his for the taking but his chance came to nothing. After a battle between Kofi, Swagger and Rey, in which Rey powerbomed Swagger off the ladder it was left to Rey to scale the ladder much to the chagrin of the heel friend;y fans who let out a great hail of boos. Del Rio scaled the ladder as well and fought with Rey on top until he snatched his mask off and threw Rey onto another ladder, both ladders toppled. Del Rio reset his and scaled it to pick up the win.

It was a great ladder match but to me I found the Smackdown one more enthralling, I did thoroughly enjoy it though and as I expected Alberto Del Rio picked up the victory.

5. Randy Orton vs Christian for the World Heavyweight Championship

The stipulation for this match was that if Randy Orton got disqualified the title could change hands automatically. To start the match Christian brought in a chair and goaded Orton to hit him with it, which Orton didn't do and tossed the chair to the outside. After giving a shot to each other Orton controlled the offence trying on three occasions to hit an RKO, on which the third time Christian reversed to hit the Killswitch and picked up a near fall. Christian then went for a spear which Orton leaped over and hit a neckbreaker followed by a DDT. Orton was then gearing up fir an RKO and Christian backed off into the corner. As Orton approached him Christian SPAT in his face. Orton exploded and unloaded punch after punch on Christian and followed it up with a punt to the testicles which resulted in his immediate disqualification and hand Christian the championship,

After the match Orton went mad and absolutely battered Christian and set him up for an RKO on the Spanish announce table, which didn't break, they must make it out of sturdier wood these days. He left the ring side area onto return and once more try for an RKO on the table and once again it didn't break. Damn, they looked stiff and brutal. The fans clamoured for one more.

The match was enjoyable and had a good rhythm to it,I expected Christian to pick up the win somehow but never in a million years expected him to spit in Orton's face, it was toe curling to see again in the replays. It kind of soured the moment but I guess it was necessary. This match left more questions than answers like who is the heel? Orton flipped and went berserk and really got the crowd into him.

6. CM Punk v John Cena for the WWE Championship

This IS the match we all waited for, the build up has been immense, the most excited I have been for a match in many a year. The home crowd were on fire for their boy CM Punk, he came out to a rapturous welcome and he milked every cheer. John Cena came out to the most hostile crowd I have ever heard, he came to fight. There was none of the Cena playing to the children in the audience. At times he was Rocky-esque swinging his fists to the turnbuckle pads,. You could sense this was going to be a special match and by God it was that and more.

I feel a review of the match from prowrestling.net can do it more justice than me, so here you are:

    Cena and Punk actually had a scaled back series of mat wrestling. Cena went for the AA. Punk escaped and went for the GTS. Cena escaped and they stared each other down. This is not what I expected from Cena.
    Punk worked a headlock in the middle of the ring and another competing chant broke out. Punk ran to the corner and ran up. He tried for a twisting cross body but went short. Cena tried to catch him and Punk landed with his ribs on Cena's knee. Punk took a moment to catch his breath while Cena sold the knee on the apron. Punk finally went over and tried to suplex Cena into the ring, but Cena suplexed him to the floor instead.
    Cena rolled Punk into the middle of the ring and they traded blows. Cena reversed a whip and hooked an inside cradle that was called an abdominal stretch.    Punk escaped and they traded finisher lifts. Punk went for the high knee in the corner and missed. Cena went for the five knuckle shuffle, but Punk kicked him in the head. Cena came right back and finally hit it much to the displeasure of the Chicago crowd.
    Cena lifted for the AA and Punk flipped all the way through. He messed up and landed on his ass, but popped up and hit several kicks. He hit the high knee in the on the ropes. He hit a second one and it was as stiff as any move I have ever seen. He hit the bulldog and followed with a springboard clothesline for two.
    Cena came back and tried for the AA again but Punk slid out and lifted for GTS. Cena grabbed the leg and reversed into a STF in a very cool move. Punk muscled out and reversed into an Anaconda Vice. Cena made the ropes and hit the AA for a near fall. Cena hit the top rope leg drop and the AA again for a great near fall at the half hour mark.
    Cena took Punk to the top and started for an AA. Punk fought him off and hit a Frankensteiner. Punk hit the knee in the corner and followed with a GTS to the stomach that spilled Cena to the floor. Punk looked discouraged and went to the floor and rolled Cena in the ring. Vince McMahon and John Laurinaitis walked out and stared at Punk. Punk stared at them and then jumped in the ring.
    Cena hooked the STF on the delay and Vince called for the bell. Johnny Ace ran to get the bell rang and Cena slid out and dropped him. Cena said, "Not like this," to McMahon. He slid back in the ring and Punk hit the GTS for the pinfall victory to a great pop.

What a match, it was the match we all expected and the outcome we all hoped for. Match of the year YES, match of the new millennium PERHAPS. A thirty minute match that had it all, an electric crowd, excellent wrestling, storytelling and the result everyone wanted. I have never been so pumped for a main event in all my life. This match sums up my love of wrestling. I am proud to admit to the World, I am a f wrestling fan and I am a fan of CM Punk. Take a bow Sir, you deserve it.

What a PPV Money In The Bank was from start to finish. It promised and it didn't just deliver, it raised the bar. WWE deserves credit for the best build up and event since Summerslam 1998. This is how Wrestlemania XXVII should have been. The first surprise of Daniel Bryan winning the Smackdown MITB set the tone for the rest of the night. The night was made special thanks to the partisan crowd, who reacted to the right spots and set the atmosphere for an unforgettable night. I do hope this is the dawn of a new era in the WWE and that it slowly breaks away from PG and they get CM Punk to re-sign and make him the face of WWE. He can take the mantle of Stone Cold and the possibilities are endless.

I am eagerly looking forward to WWE Raw tonight and seeing what happens next, this promises to be the most exciting time in wrestling or many years. I witnessed history last night. Thank you WWE.

UFC 132

UFC132

UFC132 featuring a great card of fights headlined by the UFC Bantamweight Championship title fight between Dominick Cruz and Urijah Faber. The card featured the following fights:

Carlos Condit vs Dong Hyun Kim
Ryan Bader vs Tito Ortiz
Matt Wiman vs Dennis Siver
Wanderlei Silva vs Chris Leben
Dominick Cruz vs Urijah Faber


Carlos Condit vs Dong Hyun Kim
I predicted Condit for the win in this fight and he didn't disappoint after a brief exchange on the feet and ground Condit threw a flying knee which connected right on Kim's chin knocking him down for Condit to finish the fight with strikes.


Ryan Bader vs Tito Ortiz
What a shock, after a minute of range finding, out of nowhere Ortiz drops Bader, jumped on him and finished him with a guillotine choke. Tito's first win in years and Baders second successive defeat. Tito seems to pull out the w when his back is to the wall. Surprised and not surprised by the result. Well done to Tito.


Matt Wiman vs Dennis Siver
Scrappy fight with some good exchanges, Wiman constantly trying to get the takedown throughout with Siver displaying excellent takedown defence. Wiman opened Siver up with brutal elbows. Close decision win by Siver. Some suspect judging perhaps?


Wanderlei Silva vs Chris Leben
Blink and you'd miss it, as expected both came out swinging. Wanderlei got caught by a left by Leben that rocked him and Leben pounced upon him and finished him quickly with strikes. Wanderlei has called out Vitor Belfort prior to tonight, Vitor would murder him like he did in their first fight.


Dominick Cruz vs Urijah Faber
Busy fight, high pace throughout. I felt that Faber had the better of the standing exchanges, dropping Cruz several times. Cruz did get a few takedowns. It was a very close fight that went the distance, I had Faber shading it slightly but Cruz got the nod and retained his title. How one judge scored the fight 45-50 to Cruz I will never know.

They need to sort the judging out, it's costing fights and damaging credibility of MMA. There has been spate of bad calls, two alone tonight. Other than the judging this was an excellent card of fights with some wonderful finishes and a five round title fight that was a fight from start to finish not five rounds of lay 'n' pray.

I'm looking forward to catching some of the prelims online later. Awesome action apparently. Best card of the year, lived up to expectations.

After watching both boxing and MMA tonight I can easily see why boxing is on the decline and MMA is gaining popularity.

What a boring fight between David Haye and Wladimir Klitschko. The fight went ad I expected with Wladimir dominating with the jab and landing the better punches. It strikes me that Haye can sell and talk up a fight but isn't in the same class as the Klitschko's. Vitali would have battered him tonight. Perfect end would have been a KO by Wladimir to shut Haye up after all the shit he has talked.

Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix Quarterfinals Part 2

On Saturday 18^th June 2011 the MMA organisation Strikeforce held the second part of it's Heavyweight Grand Prix (HWGP) with the second batch on Quarter-finals taking place in Texas.

The event follows on from the first pair featuring Sergei Kharitonov/Andrei Arlovski and Antonio 'Big Foot' Silva/Fedor Emelianenko. Kharitonov and Big Foot advanced with the winners set to the fight the winner of tonight’s two bouts featuring Alistair Overeem/Fabricio Werdum and Josh Barnett/ Brett Rogers.

The card featured three more bouts:

• Chad Griggs vs Valentijn Overeem
• Daniel Cormier vs Jeff Monson
• Jorge Masvidal vs KJ Noons

I was looking forward to the event especially because one of my favourite fighters Alistair Overeem was on the card and Strikeforce events rarely fail to deliver some excellent fights. Admittedly they don't have the depth or roster of the UFC but in terms of excitement Strikeforce events are second to none. Onto my reviews of the fights....

Chad Griggs vs Valentijn Overeem

I had only seen Chad fight twice, both on Strikeforce where he did better than I imagined. Valentijn Overeem I had never seen before and know him purely as being Alistair’s brother. The fight was a short one and Griggs dominated it from the start. Valentijn seemed to pussy out and tapped to strikes, watching it I didn't see any blow which could cause harm and force him to tap but I'm not in a cage being punched in the face by a 250lb man. It was a disappointing end to the fight but Griggs is looking good in Strikeforce, he's not the best fighter but he's building slowly facing a better calibre fighter with each appearance. I am interested to see how he develops.

Griggs win via Submission (Strikes) 2.55 of round 1

Daniel Cormier vs Jeff Monson

An excellent performance by Cormier saw him nullify the highly regarded grappler in Monson. Monson was at times a punch bag plodding around the cage. I am impressed in Cormier's stand up considering he's a wrestler. He looks a little flabby at heavyweight, I would be interested to see him matched against Griggs or cut to light-heavyweight. A definite future contender.

Cormier wins via unanimous decision.

Jorge Masvidal vs KJ Noons

Prior to this fight I had KJ Noons down as clear winner. I had never heard of Masvidal except his entry into MMA was similar to Kimbo Slice. WHAT A FIGHT! Unlike the earlier Overeem, what heart shown by Noons as he took an absolute, unexpected beating from Masvidal. He was cut brutally in the first round from a sustained attack by Masvidal with particularly harsh knees. KJ's highly rated boxing was non existent, his takedown defence was poor at best. I was very impressed by Masvidal, he gets the next title shot against Melendez, I do think Melendez is a class above and will dissect him.

Masvidal wins via unanimous decision




Josh Barnett vs Brett Rogers

The Baby Faced Assassin is back. I was excited to see Josh back in action and he certainly didn't disappoint, he slammed the 6'5” Rogers with ease, tossed him like a rag doll and tired him out in the mount position. Th second round he quickly submitted a tired Rogers for the win and advance in the HWGP tournament. The loss is Rogers third consecutive in Strikeforce and I don't see anything for him except feed him to Cormier or Griggs. Fair play though his last three losses have been beating by Barnett, Alistair Overeem and a beautiful knockout by Fedor Emelianenko.

Barnett wins via submission 1.17 of round 2

Alistair Overeem vs Fabricio Werdum

Bluster and prolonged periods of inactivity marred this fight, it was clear that Werdum's only strategy was to pull the fight to the ground by any means necessary. So it was a case of a few exchanges on the feet then back down and wait for the fight to be restarted on the ground. The fight was a disappointment for me as I was hoping for fireworks and a knockout by Overeem, though if I think hard about it, Werdum wasn't going to do anything different to take it to the ground 99/100 times.                                                        
Overeem wins via unanmous decision

Compared to the surprise and fireworks of the last HWGP I felt disappointed by this card, it was great to see Barnett and Overeem win but the card as a whole felt lacklustre. Hopefully the semi finals will have some sparks. I have my money on an Overeem/Barnett final, but I could easily see Sergei Kharitonov get the upset, he is the dark horse in this tournament for me.

The line up for the semi finals is:
Alistair Overeem vs Antonio 'Big Foot' Silva
Josh Barnett vs Sergei Kharitonov

LA Noire completed and Playstation Trophies

Spark up a fanfare I have reason to celebrate. For a person who enjoys playing video games I have achieved a new platinum trophy to add to my collection of plats (platinums).

In case you are wondering what on Earth I am rambling on about I shall explain. For the PS3 when you play the games and complete missions or targets you are sometimes rewarded with a trophy, which varies with bronze, silver and gold depending on the difficulty of the task. When you achieve all the trophies you are rewarded by a platinum trophy, the holy grail to achieve in some of the more difficult games like Gran Turismo 5.

The game I platted an hour ago (as I write this) was LA Noire. A game I talked in depth about in an earlier blog entry. It was a rewarding game to platinum, perhaps somewhat tedious with one or two of the trophies. The first run through the missions was quite simple and straight forward, then i had to redo them all to attain a five star rating in each. Again this was straightforward.

The trophy that I hated was the vehicle collector which required you driving all 95 different types of vehicle in the game. It was a complete and utter pain I. The arse, all the hassle for a BRONZE trophy!!!!! I could not find the Ford convertible after searching for hours, I came across it by chance and took immense pleasure in smashing the bastard up.

The game was excellent and I find through labouring away at the trophies I get Full enjoyment and use with the game, doing tasks I wouldn't attempt otherwise and getting my money's worth. Prior to collecting trophies on older systems in would simply play through the storyline and then not touch the game again once I completed them.







I enjoy collecting the trophies and up to now I have collected 599 trophies including 6 platinums. I enjoy the tasks and getting each trophy is rewarding. It would be excellent if the trophies had some sort of redeemable currency for use in the Playstation Store, perhaps in the future with the PS4.

My trophy card

[URL=http://www.ps3trophies.com/profile/TomNolan89][IMG]http://www.ps3trophies.com/card/10/TomNolan89.png[/IMG][/URL]

The Lost World book review

Doing a little blog on my thoughts on the latest book I have just finished reading. Previously I finished the novel Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton and enjoyed immensely, it is now one of my most favourite books. Hot on the heels of that I decided to check out the sequel to it, like the film it was called The Lost World.

The book follows Ian Malcolm again as he joins a rescue mission/expedition to Costa Rica in search of dinosaurs and unexplained carcasses washing up ashore. The book is well written and shares some similarities with the film like the trailers being toppled over the cliff, baby T-Rex breaking a leg and some of the characters are the same.

I enjoyed the book, I did find it rather slow to begin with. At times there is a lot of text on theories which does bog you down but when it gets to the action/suspence scenes the pace quickens really well and it is quite absorbing.

There are a lot more dinosaurs in this book and more descriptions about them as they are being studied from The high hide by Dr Levine.such as Apatosaurs,

Unlike the film where the antagonists are InGen and their dino hunters, the baffles here are Biochem, the same as the first book and their leader the ruthless scientist Dodgson, which like his accomplices meets a grizzly end.

Like the first book, I found myself enjoying it more than I thought I would. At times the huge chunks of text leave you wondering why you started the book but once it gets going it is a thoroughly enjoyable and riveting read. Perhaps the plot is rather obvious, it is a typical dinosaur chase book. But there are adequate curve al sand twists in the plot to keep you e grossed in the action.

UFC 137 bout announced & Strikeforce HWGP thoughts

Awesome news in the MMA World. UFC 137: GSP vs Diaz. What a wonderful fight, I am so glad it has been made. It is really the true test for both men at 170lbs, with GSP clearing out his division and Diaz having no challengers left in Strikeforce.

Hopefully this is the first of many fights made between the rosters of UFC and Strikeforce. I would love to see the winner of the Heavyweight Grand Prix fight the UFC Heavyweight Champion and the other titles unified. I think aside from Jacare the Strikeforce champions have an excellent chance at usurping the UFC Champions.

Seeing as Zuffa own both organisations, I can't see how the Strikeforce contracts hamper the setting up of intra-brand fights. They own both contracts.

On a related note,17 days until the next round of the Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix. I hope no injuries occur between now and them. I am picking Alistair Overeem and Josh Barnett to go through to the next round, I only hope that Barnett doesn't piss hot afterwards.

The Strikeforce event will certainly make up for the lacklustre/mediocre card that was UFC130. I am glad in the UK we have it included on ESPN FOR £9.99 a month, I would have felt totally ripped off having paid $50 for that fight card. Say what you will about Strikeforce's limited roster and fight matching but they never fail to deliver an entertaining card of fights.

Bank Holiday Sport (Part 2)

The second football match at Wembley that caught my interest was the Championship Playoff Final between Reading and Swansea City. I have a passing interest in the game as Swansea are a local team for me and a rare opportunity for a Welsh team to possibly win a place in the Premier League.

The match was a wonderful spectacle and Swansea took the lead thanks to a penalty from Scott Sinclair, moments later he added a second and the match seemed over when Swansea added a third. The second half was opposite and Reading pulled two goals back and made a game of it. It was squeaky bum time for the fans but Swansea saw the game out and Sinclair netted his third of the game and Swansea were victorious 4-2. Again it was another victory for the beautiful game, Swansea and Barcelona play a similar type of fluid football. Swansea play the football of Barcelona but in the colours of Real Madrid.

The weekend had other finals like the Mangers League final between two Irish sides; Munster and Leinster. munster edged Leinster thanks to two late tries and won 19-9. At Twickenham England played the Barbarians and were edged out in the latter stages of the match 38-32 thanks to a late try by Tim Visser.

UFC 130 took place Saturday night, sadly the card was blighted by injuries and pullouts. Which saw me lost a lot of interest in the card. The fights were rather bland with only one real highlight a beautiful knockout by travis Browne on Stefan Struve. It was a wonderfully timed superman punch that seemed to leave the gigantic Struve in mid air for a split second. Other than that the card was forgettable and I didn't bother with the main event. Roll on Strikeforce on the 18th June and the second part of the Heavyweight Grand Prix.

So all in all it was a very entertaining weekend of sport, much better than watching the tired films that get re-run every holiday. I am finishing it in an insomniac state watching WWE Raw, which is blighted by technical difficulties this evening. I'm looking forward to seeing Averno debut as a foil to Sin Cara on Smackdown. It will be awesome to see more luchadores in WWE.

Bank Holiday Sport (Part 1)

What a wonderful Bank Holiday weekend of sport we have had. Bookended by a feast of football at Wembley with two teams who play the beautiful game as it should be played lifting their respective trophies when the dust has settled. Congratulations FC Barcelona and Swansea City.

I am not the most fanatical follower of sports but I do enjoy it when it is on and this weekend there has a been a lot on. It was either watch sport or the usual repetitive drivel that is aired every Bank Holiday weekend. So this weekend I watched a bit of everything from Football, rugby, MMA, Formula 1, golf and as I type this up I have wrestling on, not a sport but sports entertainment so it's close enough.

The biggest story of this weekend has been the football and the absolutely mesmerising performance by Barcelona against Manchester United. Going in to the match I was looking forward to a humbling of Manchester United and the silencing of their fans, namely because I am a fan of Liverpool & Barcelona whereas my father is a Manchester United fan. I am always subject to his gloats at Manchester United having the more success so Saturday I was looking forward to the favourable outcome I had been hoping for. 

The match was a feast and it always is a pleasure to see an amazing team like Barcelona play, such beauty and fluidity to their game. They are a true proponent of the beautiful game. Without a shadow of a doubt the best side of recent history. A team that can boast the likes of Xavi, David Villa, Gerard Pique, Andres Iniesta and of course possibly  the best footballer to step on a  pitch the maestro Lionel Messi. 

In the opening exchanges I fancied Manchester United looked the most likely to score but once Barcelona got into their rhythm there was only going to be one outcome. They played United off the pitch, summed up by the magnificent goals by Messi and Villa. United much lauded team seemed average at best, yes in England they are the best but against continental opposition of Barcelona's class, there is a long way to go before they can blow their own trumpets. It seemed as though the years caught up with some of United's squad, Ryan Giggs was ineffective and seemed an old man compared to the flair of the younger Messi. Paul Scholes equally so. In the end it was a victory for the beautiful game. The best team won and football won. 

Letting Eric Abidal lift the trophy was a lovely gesture, he recently returned to football after having major surgery to remove a tumour and the final marked 70 odd days since the surgery. It puts the game into perspective and what a great, feel good story to have in the match a return against all odds.

I should watch Barcelona more, I have Sky Sports so no excuse not to seeing as they are broadcast every weekend live. Wish I also bought a ticket to see the final. I really want to watch Lionel Messi play in person once in my life.

I will talk about the rest of the sport in a second blog. This one seems pretty long already. 

Jurassic Park - The Novel

I have just finished reading the novel Jurassic Park. I am a lover of the film and always meant to read the book and finally got around to it this week. I was expecting to be underwhelmed by the book, the film is one of my favourite films, but it captured me and I preferred it to the film. The book is full of much more suspense and action than the film, it seemed to be almost like the trilogy crammed into one book, with many more dinosaurs and events taking place which didn't happen n the film.

The book starts off giving a brief background into the 1980's boom of genetic research and how InGen started as a genetic research company. It then describes how workmen arrive at a clinic with injuries attributed to machinery but really are injuries from the dinosaurs. A little girl then gets mauled by a Procompsognathagus or Compy for short and the remains of one is found but due to it being extinct it is said to be a lizard species and nothing more is thought of it.

The rest of the book follows how the film goes but with added details and differences with characters inspecting the park and all the problems that occur thanks to Dennis Nedry tampering with the system and dying due to an attack by a Dilophosaurus.

I love how much more detail goes into the park with two tyrannosaurus Rex’s, one adult and one juvenile. It adds to the drama, same with the Raptors, which have bred unbeknown to the park management and play havoc in the park when the power is down. The story is told from many perspectives, the main one is Dr Grant and the children getting from the T Rex enclosure to the Visitor Centre with many twists along the way like being chased downstream by the T Rex and attacked by Pterodactyls in a giant aviary.

Unlike the film hardly any of the main characters die, Gennaro who is famously killed whilst on the toilet survives, the only deaths are Dennis Nedry (Dilophosaurus attack), Henry Wu (Velociratoptor), John Arnold (Velociraptor) & John Hammond (broken ankle and Compy's feasting on him). Ian Malcolm is also said to have but survives and is featured in the sequel.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, the part I found strange was how the characters are totally different to how they look in the film. Dr Grant is described as wearing colourful shirts, having a beard totally unlike the film. I kept on picturing Sam Neill, his demeanour is also different with him being child friendly unlike the film. Also the characters of Tim and Lexi are opposite with Tim being the older sibling and Lexi the youngest. That was my only qualm, I have seen the film so many times that it hampered my perception of the characters in the book. I would however like to see another film adaptation of Jurassic Park but more true to the book.

I have began to read the sequel to Jurassic Park, also called The Lost World. I hope it is as good a read as this was. I highly recommend Jurassic Park to everyone. You will be surprised how good it really is.

LA Noire - My thoughts

A quick blog post on the newly released video game LA Noire.

Last Saturday I purchased the game LA Noire for my PS3, the game is developed by Rockstar - the company that produces games like Manhunt, Red Dead Redemption and the Grand Theft Auto series.

The game follows the post-war career of Cole Phelps who goes into the Police following his heroism in WWII. You start off as a Sergeant doing ordinary police patrols and then work your way up through four branches of investigation; Traffic, Homicide, Vice and finally Arson. Each has it's own cases and you work through them collecting evidence and interviewing suspects and witnesses. The aim is to obviously solve the cases and attain a five star rating in each case. The more evidence, correct interrogation answers and ultimately charging the right suspect the higher the rating you get.

I have finished all the story cases and although it took me less than a week, I enjoyed each one. Being a lover of murder and serial killers I found myself more drawn to and enjoying the Homicide cases than any of the others. The story is very immersive when you get into it. The link to the real life Black Dahlia killings was a nice touch.

I love how detailed the game is, the map is very expansive and has excellent detail. The main point for me is the facial definition which is out of this World, every actor was filmed with multiple cameras as they read their lines to create accurate facial definition.

My main gripe with the game is it can be a bit glitchy at times and it seems a little short with the story part, I will still enjoy it as I clean up the rest of the game to gain 100% completion and possibly go for the platinum trophy. It is a bit of a grind doing all the collectable trophies like driving 96 cars, collecting 50 golden film reels. It is a bit of a bore but alas I will do it, sad I know lol

So here you have it, my little summary on LA Noire. Another wonderful game by Rockstar, a very welcome release and keeping up the high standard that Red Dead Redemption set. I am looking forward to the next offering of the Grand Theft Auto series, hopefully it will be better than GTAVI - which I disliked.

My rating: 8.9/10.

Royal Wedding 29/4/2011

Same as before, I meant to post this blog a fortnight ago..... MPHP87972S5G

Today 29/4/2011 is a day I am proud to be British, today marks the day of the Wedding of our future King, HRH Prince William of Wales to his fiance Catherine 'Kate' Middleton. The wedding has had an almost frenzied build up in the press, the first of it's kind since Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer almost thirty years ago.

The much media for the event has turned me off it a bit, I am happy they are finally getting married but hate the fact it is rammed down our throats all the time and all the tacky souvenirs that are being sold in shops throughout the country.

The ceremony itself was a wonderful, joy to behold. It makes me proud to to British, nobody can do all the pomp and circumstance like we can. Whether it be a royal Wedding like today or Trooping the Colours, we are the envy of the World. Olympics 2012 take note, this is how we do a show and this is what the World knows Britain can do well and most likely looking forward to seeing.

Kate looked beautiful in her dress, reminiscent of Grace Kelly in years gone by. I don't envy her, she will be under very intense scrutiny from the media, everything she does will be dissected and compared to Princess Diana. I don't get the love for Diana, she wasn't particularly beautiful and well a bit of a slag. Camilla and Charles get a lot of unjust hatred in my opinion but that's another story.

The surprising popular story to come out of the wedding was the brides sister Pippa and how she potentially upstaged the bride in wearing a rather clingy dress. Men noticed how when she would walk and bend over to see to the train of Kate's dress her ass was rather noticeable and seemed peachy haha. It even spawned a Facebook group which as of now has 45000+ members.

So all in all it was a wonderful day to be British and I wish the Royal Couple all the best in the future and hope they both be happy and well for many many years to come.  

St Fagan's Museum 25/4/2011

I meant to post this a fortnight ago but got sidetracked. Better late than never.......

What a beautiful day yesterday was. Usually as a family we rarely do anything on a Bank Holiday Monday but for a change we decided to go out for the day together. We decided to go to St Fagan's Museum in Cardiff. The museum is mainly outdoors with a various array of relocated buildings showing how people in Wales lived through the years, from Iron Age mud huts to an eco-friendly house.

It has been many years since I last visited St Fagan's Museum and I was very much looking forward to it, I'm a nerd and nothing makes me happier than spending a day wandering through a museum/gallery and yesterday was no exception. Everything was perfect, we were up nice and early, hadn't argued (which is rare for us) and the weather was scorching hot. The only problems we faced were firstly whether to take our own food or find somewhere to eat whilst we were there and parking. With it being a rare beautifully sunny Bank Holiday, it was odds on that every pleb would either have the same idea as us or go to the coast.

We arrived at about 10am and the car park wasn't full but wasn't empty, there was a huge queue for parking tickets near where we parked but 100 yard down the road there were three vending machines unused. I wasn't standing in line queuing like a knob lol. The added bonus for the day was , museums in Wales are free entry so the day only cost £3.50 for the parking ticket (excluding food and petrol), which was a pinch and if we had a nice day, we couldn't really complain.

Onto the museum, the museum is a huge former private home which is opened to the public, donated to the people of Wales by the Earl of Plymouth in 1946. The museum boasts over forty original buildings from all corners of Wales, moved and erected in the museum grounds. The buildings include many farmhouses, chapels, a Workmen's Institute and the beautiful St Teilo's medieval church, presented in all it's splendour with colourfully crafted wall paintings on it's interior.

I thoroughly enjoyed the day out, it was a perfect day. The attractions were just as I remembered them, I made sure to visit every building and take lots of photographs. The buildings I loved the most were the Iron Age huts, St Fagan's Castle and Kennixton Farmhouse. The museum involves a lot of walking if you intend to make the most of it and see every building. Everything is laid out rather well, although it was a Bank Holiday and there was quite a high volume of visitors it didn't feel as if everything was on top of you. The main problem was people photo-bombing my pictures. It would be best to go back on a nice mid week day when people would be at work and children at school. That way the museum would be quiet and you can spend a leisurely day perusing all the attractions.

On the whole we all agreed it was the best family day out that we have had for a long time. It was a really cheap and enjoyable day, except petrol and parking we only paid for food, which was nice. I would go back again sometime. The museum I would like to visit next is Caerleon, which is a Roman museum based on an old Roman Town. It has the remains of a bath-house and the best example of a Roman amphitheatre in the UK.

St Fagan's Pictures

Wasps - do they have a meaning of life?

I have just been stung by a wasp and it has led me to ponder the meaning of a wasps life.

Wasps, what is the point of a wasp? It has no purpose in life but to sting humans and f*ck everything up. A wasp doesn't create honey or pollinate like a bee. It is born, creates baby wasps, stings someone then dies. No purpose but to f*ck things up and die or breed so the species can f*ck more things up, sting someone and die. 

Granddad's Memorial

I had meant to post this the other day but forgot.

This past Sunday we (my parents and I) made a small memorial where my late grandfathers ashes were scattered. My grandfather passed away the 17/12/2010 and on the 9/1/2011 we scattered him on Gelligaer Common above the village of Trelewis, where he grew up. It was a nice pleasant spot overlooking the various surrounding villages and also the cemetery where his parents are buried. It was my grandmothers wish that he be scattered and be 'free like the wind'. A wish that she too has asked for herself.

We wanted to place a small memorial for him on the common land so that we have a place to pay our respects. He was cremated and it was grandma's wish for him not to be interred or kept in an urn and otherwise we would have nowhere to grieve or pay our respects. At least now we have a small little area where we can spend a few minutes or hours undisturbed and feel his presence all around us.

The weather was beautiful on Sunday so after lunch we seized the opportunity to put the little plaque we had made on the common land. It was sad to go back there, when we scattered my grandfathers ashes it was the moment that it struck me that he was gone. The man I doted on for 21 years was lost to me forever, being carried away with the wind. I was fine apart from the initial tears when I was told of his passing, the funeral hadn't upset me too much. I was cut up inside but I keep my feelings locked away and rarely show them. But scattering him it hit me like a freight train. I cried and cried all the way home.

I miss him so much and have so many regrets like not seeing him the day before he passed away, I said to my parents I would give it a miss and go up the following day. Even on that day I wish we left the house sooner. The day was horrible and we had heavy snow, I just wish we had left half hour earlier at least then he wouldn't have died on his own. I never said goodbye to my grandfather and that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I love him so much, he's my hero. I just wish I could cuddle him, kiss him and hear him say my name once more.

Here is the little memorial we placed for him and the area where we scattered him.

Our memorial

Close up of the plaque

Area where we scattered Granddad

In helping others we help ourselves

This is a reflective blog. I was linked to a friends new website and was reading a passage she added to her site and it got me thinking. So I have decided to blog on the subject. I find the later the time the better I blog so apologies if this doesn't make complete sense.

Her website is a recently made site where visitors are urged to share their feelings. A place where if you have a problem or issue you wish to discuss you just type it out and someone will read it. As the old saying goes 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. I think this is an awesome idea for a website, often there are times when I know I personally have issues that I find unable to share with others due to being s private person or when the issue arises nobody I trust enough is online so I keep it bottled up and let it fester until it either gets sorted or becomes insignificant.

Online I feel most people are more comfortable sharing intimate details about themselves to anonymous users. You are hidden behind a keyboard and behind a screen name, it takes the stress away and allows you to open up. This idea for a site is great, I'm sure I will use it at some point down the line.

It is a fresh and nice looking site. Clear menu, simple navigation. Really good effort for a starting point. It could evolve into something bigger once it beds in and people visit and use the site. The web address for it is: shareitw.weekly.com

Back to my main point, I was reading the first post on the site by the creator, Bea, and it got me thinking. Her post was about how people should treat others and the very last phrase is what caught my eye, along the lines of 'in'helping others we are helping ourselves'.

That is a very true statement. Being an only child I have often had a selfish 'me me me' outlook on things, I have been fortunate that more often than not what I want I have. I am in a position that I have never wanted for anything. I have a happy family, clean clothes, fresh food, sanitation and every gadget under the sun, lots I don't want or need.

Some people aren't as fortunate as me, yet in my selfishness I would put my needs first and well wouldn't really think about anyone else as long as I got what I wanted. My view on this has changed recently due to the Japanese earthquake and subsequent tsunami and helping out in a charity shop for a family member.

I have so much in life that I take for granted, my life is a walk in the park. I live at home with my parents and I pay zero rent, keep, nothing. My only outgoing bill is my mobile phone bill,which has rarely been under three figures (what love does to someone). I never used to stop and think about those less fortunate than I, how do people without a family cope? No house to stay? No certainty of food for the day?

While watching the news and seeing the devastation in Japan, I was upset at the sights I saw and the realisation that a day earlier they had everything, houses, luxuries and happy lives. Now they have nothing, all taken away by the forces of nature. It shook me a little with the realisation that we have no idea what can happen tomorrow. I scanned my room and I have a TV, PS3, Xbox 360, PC, Laptop, 4 iPods, iPad, Sony Reader, about 100 DVDs and 70video games. I would be devastated to lose any of them, a worry to me is to

Here's me worrying about being first in queue for a new release and across the World people who have real worries. It really opened my eyes to the World, to the point that the £40 I had ready to waste on another game I donated to help with the relief effort. Someone else could benefit more from it than me, why waste it on a piece of plastic that will collect dust in a month. I also emptied my online Playstation Network wallet and donated all my gaming funds to the relief effort. Better use for it than wasting it on some download content I won't use.

Since then I have been thinking about issues closer to home like the beggar on the street we all look down on, giving him a few coins. Perhaps it will be spent on drink or drugs but he could be genuine and use the money for himself, a little food or drink. Even the sandwich you are too full to eat that you will throw in the rubbish, why not give it to someone for whom it could be their first bit of food for many days. We are fortunate to not be in his position and living a lonely life where everyone looks down on you like a piece of dirt on the soles of their shoes. If I was in his position I would like to think people would take pity on me and give me some spare change or a little nourishment out of the kindness of their heart and the often lacking human nature of helping your fellow man.

It is common decency to help out our fellow person if we can, something insignificant to us can mean a lot to someone else, whether it be helping an elderly person with a heavy bag of shopping, holding a door open or paying a compliment. It is the simple things that make the most difference, simple and free things which everyone should be doing without thinking.

So next time you see a beggar, someone struggling with their groceries, stop and think if they could use a hand or a few coins from your pocket. You could be making someone's day.

As the phrase went 'in helping others we are helping ourselves' and we are, we become better people for it. It brings a sense of joy that you have helped someone no matter how small. You did something, yes it may be a slight inconvenience given that today everyone is on the go and nobody. Has time for anyone but one day that could easily be you as events that happen more and more regularly go to show. Don't take your life and what you own for granted, one day it can all disappear before you know it.

The time you expect others to help you get back on your feet you may discover a deafening silence. What goes around comes around. If you never help anyone less fortunate, why should you expect help when you need it.

In helping others we help ourselves, never a more truer word spoken.

Thanks for reading.

Elementary my dears.......

I have just finished two Sherlock Holmes box sets, one being with legendary actor Basil Rathbone and ther with another legend in Jeremy Brett. I have always been aware of the films especially with Basil Rathbone having caught brief glimpses of them when I've been with grandparents and my interest was piqued after I received a Sony Reader for Christmas. My favourite novel and first book I put on the Reader is The Hound of the Baskervilles. The murder mystery and most famous of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories.

I absorbed the book quickly, like I have done every other time I have read it, over the years I have bought and lost the novel several times. It is nice to have it in digital form, I can no longer lose it. After speedily getting through my favourite I bought the rest of the Sherlock Holmes collection of books, I loved them all. I cannot believe it took me 21 years to read them all.

I scoured shops for box sets of the films and was lucky enough to come by a selection of box set in HMV in Cardiff. I bought two for £48, at a saving of £150. I was very pleases with my purchases and subsequent saving especially considering I have a very expensive summer this year. The two box set I bought were a collection of the late 30's early 40's films with Basil Rathbone and the complete collection from the Granada television series featuring the late Jeremy Brett in the title role.

I started with the Basil Rathbone films purely because they lasted a total of 19 hours as apposed to the 39 of the Granada series. The films are in black and White, the mode of cinematography of the time and sets can be somewhat cheap looking, which detracts a little from the stories especially in The Hound of the Baskervilles. I also notice that throughout the films actors have recurring roles as minor characters, a feature of the time as actors were contracted to the studios as opposed to a film then move on. 

I enjoyed the films thoroughly the lack of technicolour really adds to the films and create a mood that is often lost in today's cinema. The score was also very rich, my favourite example being The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. 

My only gripe is apart from the first two films The Hound & The Adventures, the other films aren't faithful to the novels. They are modernised and set in the 1940's as opposed to Victorian times. Therefore the stories are altered and at times very corny and cheesy. If the films were exact dramatisations of the novels they would be excellent, the modernisation and blatant War propaganda spoil them for me. Holmes is a sleuth not a mouthpiece to rally support for the war by spouting quotes from recent Churchill speeches to close the films. 

To me Basil Rathbone is partly Sherlock Holmes, Basil plays the role as the typical heroic English gent, suave, sophisticated and well mannered. I had never seen Basil act prior to this film and I was blown away by his acting. A legend of his time. When he was in shot he commanded the space and played off his cast very well, especially Nigel Bruce who played Dr Watson. Their relationship was very close and believable, an endearing quality of this set of films.

Nigel Bruce played a very good Watson, he bounced off Basil's Holmes excellently. His Watson was portrayed as a clumsy, bumbling man who accidentally messes up and let's slip a secret or suspect. His Watson is far removed from the Watson in the novels, an educated, intelligent man. In spite of this his Watson is loveable and you cant help smiling at his mishaps and being drawn to his character. Much the same can be said about this series' portrayal of Inspector Lestrade who like Watson is a fool, also unlike the novel. It does make you wonder how on earth these men Rose to be a doctor and chief inspector given their hapless nature.

All in all this was an enjoyable set of films, I only wish they were more true to the novels in terms of plot and characterisations and that my favourite - The Hound - was done full scale and on location, other than that these films were great and I would certainly watch them again on a rainy weekend. 

The next box set I was daunted about watching due to their length of 39 hours. I didn't think I would like Jeremy Brett due to my love of Basil's Holmes, at first this was the case but Jeremy grew on me as the series progressed. 

I'll start here, the series was broken up just like the novels with a collection of dramatisations under the banner 'The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes', 'The Return of Sherlock Holmes', 'The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes', His Last Bow. With the 'Sign of Four' and 'The Hound of the Baskervilles' as separate features. I enjoyed the stories as they were very true to the novels, some stories were adapted from the novels and changed somewhat but they were largely unchanged.  The setting was perfect, all set in the right period and beautifully filmed in often grand locations, shame the 1940s ones didn't get this treatment. 

Jeremy Brett plays n excellent Sherlock Holmes, like basil he is. Fine actor befitting of such a role. Often he is dramatic whether he shouts at Mrs Hudson for getting under his feet or trying to make a point to Lestrade. He has these like quirks or mannerisms which set him apart like clambering up. A fireplace or flinging himself to the ground with little regard for his safety or the opinions of others. I can see Holmes being like this. His Holmes does seem a very withdrawn person, often drifting into his own little World, rarely smiling and never experiencing love. The closet he comes is Irene Adler or 'The Woman' as she is referred to.

Dr Watson is played by two actors in this series firstly by David Burke and then Edward Hardwicke. They play the role as a straight man, the backbone to Holmes as opposed to blundering fool that has been portrayed prior. This is how Watson should be, the loyal and faithful assistant capable of holding the fort when Holmes is inconvenienced. I enjoy both actors but find myself drawn to David Burke more so than Edward Hardwicke. His Watson seems more light-hearted as you can see in the episode 'The Red Headed League'.

On the whole I loved this series, it is such a shame Mr Brett passed away too soon and we didn't get all of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's work dramatised with Jeremy Brett in the role.

Amongst Holmes fans there is debt for who is the definitive Holmes with many favouring Basil Rathbone over Jeremy Brett and vice versa but to me combine them both and there you have the definitive Sherlock Holmes. What one man lacks the other make up for. They are too close to be separated, not forgetting their portrayals come from different times when public opinion, political opinion and cinematography was completely different. What worked for 1940's audiences may not for 1990's audiences. Basil and Jeremy combined is my definitive Holmes with David Burke and Edward Hardwicke as the loyal companion Dr John Watson.

To anyone reading this I heartily recommend you seeing some of these films, they truly are classics and you will be witnessing two of the greatest British actors to have been captured on film and believe me it is a treat.

That wraps this blog up. Hope you have enjoyed it. It is on to Disney again for me, resuming my challenge to watch all the Disney films once more for old times sake. Ooh Sherlock may make an appearance in Basil The Great Mouse Detective, some continuity for me.  

Elementary my dears.......

Grandads passing 3 months on

Thinking about my grandfather, this Friday it is 3 months exactly since he passed away. The time has flown by. I still don't think I have come to terms with it. You spend 21 years seeing a person every day of your life and then in 10 minutes the person goes from being quiet in their bed to passing away. It is truly hard to comprehend. The phone call to say he passed away will haunt me for the rest of my life, as will my fathers reaction. I have never seen the man I look up to cry floods of tears. 

I can deal with death as it is the only certainty in life, you will die one day other than that life is what you make of it, but what I find hard is granddad has left a vast space in my life. For the past few years he has been in failing health with Alzheimer's and dementia, becoming more forgetful and appearing vacant at times in the last 6 months prior to last December he was my grandfather in body but not in my mind, at least not the man I remembered who would play me on computer games and kick a football in his 70's. 

The fact he is no longer here hits me hardest, I miss him so much. He was more than just a grandfather. His presence in my life is sorely missed, when I go in my grandmothers the house is so empty without him perched on his chair by the window. I miss seeing him, helping him and hearing his voice. Other than photographs and heirlooms I have inherited all i have are memories, I long to see him once more or hear his voice call me 'boy' he is the only person I would take being called that from. 

The hardest part for me was scattering his ashes, the fact that once the container was opened and the dust settles I have nothing more of my grandfather. He is gone in the wind and free as a bird.it hit me hard that moment and seeing what remained of him, a man reduced to dust. I think grandma upset me also, when it was just me and her prior to scattering his ashes she caught hold of me and told me that it is down to me that she too is cremated and scattered where grandad was. I think it was the thought of losing another grandparent, I'll have to go through it four times in total. I dread the day it happens.

Prior to writing this, I am crying my eyes out whilst doing this, that was the first time I cried since the phone call to say grandad passed away. I tend to retreat into a shell and deal with emotional issues by holding up a guard and keeping my feelings hidden, I guess to some I can be seen as strong but to most like my family I am seen as cold and not bothered, which is totally opposite. I guess I try to be strong for everyone else, when you are emotional you don't think rationally. For example we (grandma &dad) decided not to have a post-mortem done to spare my grandfather being messed about with. The decision was made right after we saw his body at the hospital and everyone bar me was in floods of tears, now though they wish they did get the post-mortem done as there may have been foul play and neglect but it's was too late to do anything so we will always have a niggle that if they did their jobs he may still be here.  I guess being emotionless is how I deal with my grief, I don't think i grieved properly and I know it's good to cry and let it all out but I don't know, I guess I can't. I try to put a brave face on for everyone and as the old saying goes 'life goes on' these things happen in life. 

I needed to vent and it has been nice to put this in words. I can talk about it with my family but well I am a honest person and call a spade a spade, intend to say how I feel which causes offence to some, especially my mother. The tears have been a bit weird, I didn't think I would cry whilst writing this. I think of my grandfather every day and hand on my hand I miss him so much. I just wish I could have one more day with him, there is so much I want to say to him.  I never got to say goodbye to him, I regret not visiting him the night before he passed away. I was too busy messing at home to go up, a decision I will regret until the day I die. 

Life is short and you have to cease each opportunity and make the most of every second, tell people you love them and how you feel whilst you can. We don't know what is around the corner and tomorrow the opportunity may not be there anymore.

I'll wrap this up now, it is 6.48am on 13/3/2011, I've not slept a wink yet. If you've read this far, thank you.