Granddad's Memorial

I had meant to post this the other day but forgot.

This past Sunday we (my parents and I) made a small memorial where my late grandfathers ashes were scattered. My grandfather passed away the 17/12/2010 and on the 9/1/2011 we scattered him on Gelligaer Common above the village of Trelewis, where he grew up. It was a nice pleasant spot overlooking the various surrounding villages and also the cemetery where his parents are buried. It was my grandmothers wish that he be scattered and be 'free like the wind'. A wish that she too has asked for herself.

We wanted to place a small memorial for him on the common land so that we have a place to pay our respects. He was cremated and it was grandma's wish for him not to be interred or kept in an urn and otherwise we would have nowhere to grieve or pay our respects. At least now we have a small little area where we can spend a few minutes or hours undisturbed and feel his presence all around us.

The weather was beautiful on Sunday so after lunch we seized the opportunity to put the little plaque we had made on the common land. It was sad to go back there, when we scattered my grandfathers ashes it was the moment that it struck me that he was gone. The man I doted on for 21 years was lost to me forever, being carried away with the wind. I was fine apart from the initial tears when I was told of his passing, the funeral hadn't upset me too much. I was cut up inside but I keep my feelings locked away and rarely show them. But scattering him it hit me like a freight train. I cried and cried all the way home.

I miss him so much and have so many regrets like not seeing him the day before he passed away, I said to my parents I would give it a miss and go up the following day. Even on that day I wish we left the house sooner. The day was horrible and we had heavy snow, I just wish we had left half hour earlier at least then he wouldn't have died on his own. I never said goodbye to my grandfather and that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I love him so much, he's my hero. I just wish I could cuddle him, kiss him and hear him say my name once more.

Here is the little memorial we placed for him and the area where we scattered him.

Our memorial

Close up of the plaque

Area where we scattered Granddad